But I roam ten thousand miles
by Sophie the Hobbit
Summary: Merry and Estella live together, Pre FOTR, what happens when he leaves? lots of cute, probaly cheesy things. Ignore how bad my summary is. this story is really good! I hope! REWRITTEN CHAPTER 3!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: this is if Estella and Merry lived together before they were married, and pre FOTR. Her reaction of his leaving, her time while he was gone, and when he gets back, and their strong, loving relationship.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR but I wish I owned Merry...hee hee!  
  
The sun's first rays hit Estella's closed eyes. She woke to find herself staring at the ceiling. She turned over onto her side. Merry was sleeping so peacefully. He was facing her and his body slightly curled. His thumb was in his mouth like a little infant.  
  
"What a Brandybuck!" Estella thought to herself contentedly. She kissed his brow and slowly raised and walked to the bathroom. She took a warm shower and was then standing in front of a long mirror in a sweet dress trying to brush her unruly hair. She smiled broadly as she saw something stir from the corner of her eye. Meriadoc came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. He kissed her shoulder and rested his head on it as he and Estella stared at themselves in the mirror.  
  
She smiled sweetly and leaned her head back against his unclothed chest. Merry only slept his pants. He gave her a squeeze and walked back into their bedroom. He went into the dresser and pulled out a plain shirt and a yellow vest. She followed him in and sat on the unmade bed.  
  
"I have to go into the market today." Estella reminded Merry as he pulled the shirt on.  
  
"You do?" he whined "But it's my day off, and I want to spend the day relaxing with you!"  
  
She smiled "Day off? What work do you do? You're not the master of Buckland yet!"  
  
"Well...Pippin's away. I don't have to keep watch over him today!" he playfully retorted.  
  
"Well, I guess you do have a point"  
  
"Of course I do!"  
  
"- But I still have to go into the market."  
  
Merry sat down next to Estella and gave her his puppy-dog-eyes look. She giggled.  
  
"We can spend lots of time together" She replied "After I get back."  
  
She smiled at him "Why don't you just come with me?" she playfully pushed him back down onto the bed. She leaned over him and gave him a long, lingering kiss. She sat back at looked at his surprised expression.  
  
"You're lucky you have those beautiful blue-gray eyes, Merry dear, and that you're such a good kisser, I might not be able to handle you."  
  
He smiled and leaned up to kiss her but she moved away and walked out the bedroom.  
  
"What a tease she is!" he thought as he followed her out the bedroom, through the kitchen and out the front door and daintily to the market. 


	2. By my side

Disclaimer: Again I own nothing. Except I created the old guy at the market...  
  
Estella POV:  
  
"Oh, and we need more tea." Estella concluded her rather long shopping list. She turned around behind her. Merry was staring at her and grinning.  
  
"You're so pretty."  
  
"Were you listening to me at all?"  
  
Merry grinned larger and shook his head. She giggled and turned to walk to the next stand in the wind swept market. He took her hand and followed her. About a foot away from the stand Merry spun her around. He grabbed her waist and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
"Ahem." A kind voice quickly pulled their lips apart.  
  
"Are we looking for an engagement ring?" the gentle hobbit at the stand asked looking at the adorable couple. They had accidentally stopped in front of a jewelry stand. Estella, embarrassed, pulled her arms away from Merry as he did the same.  
  
"I'm sorry, for that little...outburst." Estella concluded staring at the ground. Merry blushed.  
  
"No, no it's fine!" the older hobbit chuckled heartily. "So, how long have you two been courting?"  
  
"Well..." Merry answered before Estella opened her mouth "We've been together for three years but living together for a year now already."  
  
"So no wedding yet?"  
  
"No, not quite yet" Merry calmly replied. Estella was always amazed how Merry always kept calm, and could answer even the most awkward questions. Estella smiled. The old hobbit nodded and the couple proceeded to the next stand.  
  
"What else do we need?" Merry asked Estella for the fourth time.  
  
Estella smiled and looked at the list. She really didn't need anything on the list...  
  
"Nothing, we're done." She announced sweetly as she threw the list into their basket. Merry cheered and they headed back to the hobbit hole.  
  
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_  
  
Merry POV:  
  
Merry closed his eyes. The sun was so strong. He and Estella were sitting outside in the grass. Merry's head in her lap. He stared at her unbelievably beautiful blue eyes and how the sun splattered freckles all over her arms and face. In his eyes she was the epitome of loveliness. He could stay like this forever. They stayed like that for the rest of the afternoon, just sitting there and talking about nothing in particular. Soon the sun was setting.  
  
Merry lay sprawled out on the grass with Estella sitting by his side. They were sitting in comfortable silence.  
  
"Estella" Merry said out of the blue "when was the last time I told you I loved you?" Estella looked at the sky, clearly thinking. "She's so endearing when she does that." Merry thought to himself.  
  
"Why, I think it was last night, right before we fell asleep." Estella informed him softly.  
  
"It's been too long then." He whispered as Estella moved into his arms resting her head on his chest. "I love you." He whispered to her and buried his face in her coiled hair. Merry stared up and saw the first star of the night. He scrunched his eyes and made a wish.  
  
"I wish for Estella to wait for me..." He wished silently. He looked over at his Estella, his precious Stella. She had fallen asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.  
  
"Oh how am I ever going to be able to fall asleep and wake up without her by my side?" He solemnly pondered to himself as he carried Estella inside to their bed.  
  
A/N: OOOOO! Merry is pondering about his "journey, quest...thing". Ok, be honest, how bad is this? I'll be surprised if anyone even read this far! 


	3. short sweet goodbye

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even this computer, I'm at my grandparent's house and they don't really care if I use it.  
  
Estella had noticed that Merry was spending more and more time helping Frodo move to Crickhollow. She didn't think much of it though. She was happy Merry was home today.  
  
Estella stepped lightly into her kitchen. Merry was slumped over the kitchen table. He heard her come in and looked up.  
  
"You should get more sleep, Merry-dear." she whispered in his ear as she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Merry nodded and groaned.  
  
"Breakfast will be ready in a second!" Estella told him sternly. He smiled and placed his head back down on the table. She giggled quietly to herself; she thought he was quite silly. Before either of them knew it Estella had made pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs, toast, hash browns, bacon and sausage. She was a wonderful and quick cook.  
  
"Yum!" Merry hummed and licked his lips. He dove right into his overcrowded plate. Estella smiled and took her time eating her meal. They ate in comfortable silence and sat back in their chairs.  
  
"Honey" Merry started "I'm sorry I haven't been spending as much time with you..." Estella interrupted him.  
  
"Merry, it's ok, I understand" she smiled/  
  
"Well, not exactly, dear, we won't be seeing each other at all for a while."  
  
"What do you mean?" Estella was somewhat confused.  
  
"Estella, the thing is that I will have to help Frodo on some sort of quest, Pippin too. We will be gone for quite awhile, I suspect. I really am sorry, Love."  
  
"What sort of quest?"  
  
"I'm not quite sure."  
  
"And when will you be leaving?"  
  
"A few weeks."  
  
"Is this quest.....important?"  
  
"Yes, very much so."  
  
Estella walked around the table to Merry and sat on his lap.  
  
"I'll miss you." is all she could manage to say. She buried her head in his arms and he whispered "I'll miss you, too." back.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I'm going to go find them." Merry announced even though he knew Estella knew he was going to. He didn't think he was that predictable. He was standing at the door with his coat and scarf on. He had his lantern in his hand. Estella, who was sitting at the front table, rose and fully embraced him. He dropped the lantern and hugged her back. She had buried her face in his arms and chest like she always did and he tried to hold back faint tears.  
  
"Come on Merry, you'll see her again." he thought to himself as he kissed the top of her head and sniffed her honey-scented auburn hair. He felt a small drop and realized Estella had started to cry a bit. He wanted to say something so bad, but nothing came to mind, and he felt like he would ruin his last moment for awhile with Estella if he did say anything.  
  
"I love you." She whimpered, her voice muffled by Merry's coat.  
  
"I love you, too." he whispered and he pulled away a bit. He tilted her head up and gave her a short, sweet kiss on the lips and he turned away. He walked out the door and tried to fight the urge to run back inside.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Reality just hit Estella and she couldn't help but sob.  
  
"It'll be fine." She told herself "Merry will be home before I know it."  
  
Just something in her heart told her it wouldn't be that easy.  
  
A/N: Was this rewrite any better? Please review and tell me!  
  
Sophie the Hobbit 


	4. The Turtledove

A/N: I hope this chapter is alright. Review and tell me, please? I love you?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Buckland, Merry, Estella, Diamond, or the song "The Turtle Dove".  
  
Estella hurried around the hobbit hole cleaning everything in sight.  
  
"You don't take stress well, do you?" her friend Diamond asked. She sat on a couch watching Estella clean out the papers in a desk.  
  
"I miss him! I don't know what to do with myself!" She exclaimed as she threw out a bunch of extremely old parchments.  
  
"So...you clean?" Diamond asked hesitantly. Estella nodded.  
  
"Why don't you help me?" Estella asked her youthful ally. Diamond sighed and sat down on the floor behind a pile of documents. Together they sorted the papers into many piles because of Estella's neat freak nature.  
  
"What about this?" Diamond asked; she had found an envelope under a lamp on top of the desk. She handed it to Estella. Estella slowly opened it and began to read it.  
  
_My dearest Estella,  
  
Fare thee well my dear, I must be gone, and leave you for awhile. If I roam away I'll come back again, though I roam ten thousand miles my dear, though I roam ten thousand miles.  
So fair thou art thy bonny lass. So deep in love am I. but I never will prove false to the bonny lass I love, till the stars fall from the sky, my dear, till the stars fall from the sky.  
The sea will never run dry, my dear, nor the rocks ever melt with the sun. But I never will prove false to the bonny lass I love, till the stars fall from the sky!  
Oh yonder sits that little turtle dove. He doth sit on yonder high tree! A making a moan for the lost of his love, as I will do for thee, my dear, as I will do for thee!  
Fare thee well my dear, fare thee well my dear, fare well, fare well.  
  
Fare Well  
  
Forever yours,  
Meriadoc  
_  
By the end of the letter Estella was crying. She missed him so much she couldn't bear it.  
  
"I'm going to take a walk." Estella stood sobbing "Stay here, I'll be right back."  
  
She left her friend in the house and she left for the market. She was very upset. Merry had only left 6 months ago, he will be gone much longer, and why was she already breaking down.  
  
"Because you love him, Estella." She told herself. "He's coming back, he loves you."  
  
She kept telling herself this as she walked to the marketplace. She walked mostly with her head down, not wanting many people to see how troubled she felt. She quietly stepped, not looking where she was going, and she knocked into another hobbit.  
She looked up at this hobbit. It was the old man from the jewelry stand! He gave her a soft smile and she tried to smile back.  
  
"Did you find the letter?" he asked  
  
Estella was dumbfounded "The what?"  
  
"The letter- the letter from Meriadoc?"  
  
"Oh, yes, that letter, yes I found it." She was astonished to find that the elderly fellow knew about the letter her lover had left her. He reached to his back pocket and pulled out another envelope. What was in this one?  
  
"Here you go; Meriadoc wanted me to give this to you, only after you found the letter." He handed her the envelope and walked away. She promptly ripped it open and found a beautiful silver chain; on it was an even more beautiful charm. A silver turtle dove! Estella sniffled and gasped in joy. She loved it instantly. As she began to place it in her basket a small piece of paper fell from the envelope. It read:  
  
_My dear Estella,  
  
Think of this as a pre-engagement necklace.  
I love you, and I miss you.  
  
Forever in love with you,  
Meriadoc  
_  
She smiled and put the note in the basket and hopped home.  
  
At her home she found Diamond sitting at the front kitchen table with tea all set and still hot. Estella smiled warmly and sat next to her friend, ready to tell her of the necklace. 


	5. never losing hope

"NO!" Estella screamed as loud as she could. She couldn't stop the boiling tears falling from her eyes. She was bent over as if she held a great load on her back. Diamond quickly rushed to her aid, leading her to a arm chair. Estella sat and sobbed with her face in her hands mummering how "she wouldn't let them" and how "they couldn't"  
Diamond stood behind the chair, grasping the top tightly.

"But their parents want..." Diamond tried to explain solemnly.

"Want what?!" Estella yelled, looking up at her friend.

"-closure." Diamond whispered and quickly turned her face, holding back tears of her own.

"They're not dead! He's not dead!" Estella protested. Diamond walked around the chair and sat on the arm. She gave her best friend a big hug.

"But Estella!" Diamond protested back "How do you know that?!"

"My turtle dove..." Estella murmured.

"Estella...dear...they've been gone for five months, I'm sorry but I don't see them ever coming back."

Hearing this Estella abrubtly pushed Diamond off and ran into the next room.

"No!NO!NO! We're NOT holding a funeral!" Estella screamed. Diamond could feel cold air and gently stepped into the next room. Estella stood there holding the front door open,  
staring coldly at Diamond. Diamond grabbed her cloak and quietly stepped out into the street.

* * *

News of Estella's rejection of a rememberance ceremony of any sort quickly spread like fire. And when she didn't show at the funeral, whispers got louder. She gained the status of a half widow who lost her mind. Estella hated the eyes the most. They seemed to burn into her. People stared and she knew of the rumors. No one believed too.

"They're not dead. He's not dead." she assured herself daily as she played with the turtle dove necklace that was never taken off her neck. She wouldn't lose hope. Even if everyone else did. Even if the familar old man shook his head in pity as he walked by.


End file.
